This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
