i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
