I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
