toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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