Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
