Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
