it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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