Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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