sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Randomize
