Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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