Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
