u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How does one acquire holy water?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
