Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How does one acquire holy water?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
