He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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