so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
