i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize