..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize