16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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