No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
