Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
