You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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