We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
