I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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