i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
