he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
