I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
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