i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
