well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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