checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
