: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Small penises have feelings too.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
