Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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