guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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