im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
