Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
