i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
