Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
