Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
