11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize