I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
