I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
