the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
