Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
