just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
