bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
