When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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