I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
