i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize