these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
