I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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