There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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