i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
