I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
