Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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