That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
