and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
