so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize