I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
