afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Someone signed my nipple.
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