so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
